Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Don't Call it a Comeback!

Lets just call it a hiatus.

The Skins collapsed and I turtle-headed it, kind of like they did but in a different way. The Nationals kept being the Nationals, but from everything we have heard from management they are on the upswing. The "seeing is believing" memo has never crossed Kasten or the Lerner's desks. The great part about the Nattos is every time we watch them, a win is an unexpected surprise. A loss is one game closer to the first pick in the draft that we probably won't sign. If the Nats don't sign Strasburg I might have to pretend I don't care anymore. I know the Lerners just got here but the city has been waiting a quarter decade. Throw us a bone. Dice-K got tens of millions just to try out. You have Strasburg in your pocket just sign him.

If you are a Wizards fan just shoot yourself in the face.

If you are a Caps fan and did not shoot yourself in the face after that Pitt series, your fortitude is commended. I have never seen a series in any sport, or one NFL playoff game that was officiated worse than that series. The Pens kicked our butts in game 7, but up until then the refs just gave it to them. I thought maybe it was just the refs thinking that the Caps curse wasn't good enough anymore; that the better team had to lose. That was until I saw them in the Conference and Cup finals and they were making the exact same bogus calls. I understand that Crosby appeals to certain demographics that don't grow playoff beards, but do we really have to hand it to him even though OV is far superior even if Russians do not vote as much as Canadians for the NHL all-star game? If you are a Pitt fan you should hang your head in shame. Not just for having the Cup handed to you, but for the disgrace you brought to the Cup itself where Lemieux and the Pens actually earned their names on it previously. The Steelers brought Pitt "Titletown," while Crosby got in in name only. He even faked his last "injury" to draw a penalty and then hoisted the Cup around the ice like Lance Bass on Fabio. I guess it didn't hurt that bad. I wonder if the Pens will be wearing stripes next year. If not, maybe the Caps get to participate in fair competition.

And then there are the Skins '09. Who knows? Campbell looks like crap but he probably won't be in there long if the offensive line doesn't gel. Quickly. Everyone is focused on Campbell and Zorn, but the straw that stirs the drink is Moss. If he doesn't draw double coverage and break a long one from time, you better hope Vinny Cerrato drafted all the best receivers in 2008. Haynesworth is already taking injections into the knee which is sending the town into a tizzy and conversations are already turning into "is he the biggest sports bust in DC history?"

We are five days into training camp. C'mon guys. Biggest Wizard/Bullets bust; Kwame Brown. (If that is news to you you don't have to shoot yourslef in the face.) Caps; Jim Carey, just because he was brilliant for one playoff run and then never was to be seen again. Nats; you have to sign someone before you can have a bust. And then the Skins in this football town. Timmy Smith? We invested nothing in him. Desmond Howard, Westbrook, Al Noga, Rod Gardner, where could it even end?

The biggest bust in the history of DC? My old buddy Danny Snyder and his cohort Vinny Cerratto. The worst. After Jack Kent Cooke passed away we all assumed that we would have an owner as competent (and as crazy but in the good way) as old JKC. Unfortunately we got the rich guy from the lollipop guild. All of those players other than Noga left during the Snyder era (did I mention Stubblefield and Wilkinson?) as busts. Bruce Smith, Deion, Mark Carrier, or Jeff George to name a few more.

We could talk about GMs. Its only been Snyder though his entire era (he fired Cerratto for a year.) Coaches? Turner, whom Snyder didn't hire but whose team was disassembled after the first time the Skins reached the playoffs in Snyder's sad run. Robiskie, who Snyder chased out of the league, Schottenheimer, who was the most deserving of the position, Spurrier, who we won't talk about, Gibbs, who led the Skins to the Super Bowl twice in his first four years but couldn't make it to a NFC championship once in his second first four years. And then horny Zorny who hears the bells tolling before the preseason even begins. The common denominator is always Snyder. At least the Caps got screwed by the refs who are as suspect as the NBA refs after their conduct in the conference semi-finals. Snyder is hosing us from the inside. I'm pretty sure I know where I want to spend my money.

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