Its over now right, the soccer thing? There hasn't been a whole lot going on in DC lately. The Caps drafted more Russians. (What is funny is that this too increases OV's status as MVP of the league. McPhee said they draft so many Russians that are gambles for other teams to sign because of the Great 8. They look at his successes here and his ability to retain his "Russian-ness" back home and sign with the Caps. Kuznetsov was talented enough to be picked 10 to 15 slots higher and the Caps were looking to move up to pick him then, but instead fell to the DC Red anyways. The Caps have no such issues with OV on the team. Even when he isn't on the ice he is still better than the rest.) But I digress.
There isn't too much to say about the Redskins right now; The Jammal Brown trade was great, and I would put him at left tackle and wait a year to put Williams there. The LT will be facing guys who went to at least two Pro Bowls in 10 games this year. I heard a rumor Vince Jackson may be headed here; I wouldn't give more than a third or fourth round draft pick, but it would be nice to have a deep threat like that. And the Nats look terrible. Riggleman has made a slew of mistakes recently, and his fixation with Nyjer Morgan needs to be resolved. Either the guy need to start getting on base and look as bright as when we got him last year, or he needs to sit for a while. I don't think the guy will be ruined by some time on the pine, and someone needs to get on base so Zim, Dunn, and the Hammer have someone to drive home. Ian Desmond might as well change his name to Ean right now, but he is a rookie and will be a cornerstone here for at least half a decade. I can't say the same about Morgan while he works things out.
And then there was all this soccer. I don't get it. I've honestly tried, but all it really does is make me sympathize with the rare person you come along who says they don't like sports. Its dumbfounding to hear someone say that, but if all sports look like soccer to this anomaly of a person I understand. I would root for a guy in a belching contest if the guy had on a USA t-shirt, but ow that the US is knocked out, at least we won't have to hear about it again for four years. I am not going to critique soccer, but if I were I'd of course go after the refs, which mirror the totalitarianism rampant in some of the countries in the tournament, the flopping, which looks like Crosby on grass, and the love of ties and breaking even. I did not even go after the low scoring, because that isn't why America hates it. A hypothetical 2-1 Nolan Ryan-Sandy Koufax matchup would give ESPN some of its highest ratings ever. Tickets to a 1985 Bears versus 2000 Ravens game would fetch thousands of dollars. There is nothing more intense than a 1-1 playoff game in the NHL (because there is an overtime and no ties if it stays that way for a little bit.)
Americans did with sports what they do to everything else; make it better. Baseball is our Declaration of Independence. We looked at cricket and we did not like it. There were probably high taxes involved, so we went out and invented a game that has not needed to be fixed in 150 years. No matter how big and fast athletes become, the bases are always 90 feet apart, the pitching mound a tad over 60, and the sun always sets behind home plate. Football brings together our conflicting ideals of togetherness and individuality together. We as Americans do things together, but we also celebrate great individual achievements as well. Football encapsulates the politically incorrect notion of Manifest Destiny, where the whole concept of the game is to make gains to bring the promised land to all. And failure is never tolerated. (In the CFL, you get a point for punting and a missed field goal. Its called a rouge, look it up. We don't put up with that kind of stuff here.)
And hockey is the perfect example of our adaptation in making things better. Ice skating is tolerable in grade school when you do it because its a good way to meet girls and try to steal a kiss. But what if we hit each other every once in a while, put goals in so there is some purpose to the whole thing, and if someone is acting a little out of line, they have to fight? Skill takes over and it is almost too fast to watch on television, and the toughest guys in the world all flock to play it. When the NHL Americanized it even more to appeal to non-traditional hockey markets in Nashville, Florida, and Phoenix at the turn of the millennium, they took out the ties. A challenge that is embraced head-on involving exceptional individuals who work as a unit to promote a noble cause is as American as it gets in my world. soccer fans will say that those who don't like it are uncultured and don't understand the "great gentleman's game." My head can take the game in fine, but my soul falls asleep every time.
It is not that soccer is bad, it just does not have any of these aspects. While there is clearly a higher degree of talent, the game does not change that much from when the players are ten to when they are pros. You can not say the same for baseball, football, and hockey. I don't understand why it is a "gentleman's game" when people get killed around these matches. I don't understand why you would continue to play soccer as a kid other than to prevent getting hurt and not have to face a pressure situation like a three-point shot, full count, or perfect pass spiraling toward your hands. I don't understand vu-vu-zillas. I don't understand why 14 million Americans watching the US-Ghana game was a big deal. 34 million watched the US-Canada match in February with a whole lot more going on, and hockey is still a fourth-tier sport here, but hockey fans don't go nuts about it.
I was going to go on and on, but Matt Taibbi said it so much better than I can in his article that I will post at the end. I hope soccer fans will continue to enjoy their game, just leave us alone about it. With a plate full of American sports that satisfy the soul from youth until death, soccer is just the elevator music that Americans push through on the way to the rock concert. Someone must appreciate it, but it gets pretty annoying when someone turns it up.
http://www.mensjournal.com/taibbi-world-cup
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