NY is bad, DC not better, Philly is the worst

Last night was pretty atrocious. The second half produced less points, namely none, but the first half was even harder to watch. They did nothing right until the last two minutes after a fluke 50 yard kickoff return and Giants penalty put them in the red zone. What scares me is the Giants were atrocious as well. They played so badly that it was unbelievable that we still had a chance to win with six minutes left in the fourth quarter. But we somehow managed to play worse throughout the entire game, but especially those last six minutes. As a Skins fan you have to pause and wonder if Zorn actually implemented a no-huddle offense because we never used one last night. Zorny, who I'm not quite as horny for, look baffled last night. After the last two preseason games I don't know why he does. We have run OTAs, we started training camp before any other team in the league, we have a veteran squad so why couldn't we put together one drive on opening day?

I don't fault Campbell, he has picked up every other offense that was brand new to him 8 out of the last 9 years. In fact his passer rating last year was better than the Super Bowl winning quarterback Eli Manning. But Campbell looked confused the first game this year. Maybe it will get better but someone should remind Zorny that he only has a year. If he doesn't make the playoffs he will be fired and Cowher will be brought in, that is what our owner does because he is an idiot, just ask Schottenheimer. I really don't even blame Zorny for last night I blame Cerrato. Our aged offensive line got blown away by a younger New York defensive line, and they are missing their two best players on that unit. Our defensive line did nothing, except get run at straight to Jason Taylor every play as Madden pointed out until Skins coaches had the linebackers shift to back him up. Maybe in a defensive line-rich draft picking one of them up would have been nice. Devin Thomas got his one catch but could not muscle his way one more yard to get the first down. He was our first pick because we needed a big receiver due to the fact that Cerrato and Snyder ignored that for the last few years. He didn't exactly look like Michael Irvin last night.

I'm not giving up hope, it think we can turn it around but probably not in time. After all we play in the toughest division in football. We don't have five games for the team to get adjusted because we can only lose four or five more all year. Zorny wasn't exactly encouraging after the game when he said "I feel like we learned where we need to improve tonight. If there's anything positive, it's that." What the hell does that mean? We need to improve everywhere? The positive is that it is almost impossible to get worse? I don't mean to be a pessimist I think there is hope but the season seems star-crossed before it even began. Khary Campbell is a backup linebacker for the Skins, but is a phenomenal special team player and therefore a captain on that unit. So he jogged out pregame for the coin-flip, pulled his quadraceps, and was out for the entire game. You can't make things like that up. He knocked himself out of the game during the coin flip! Last night sucked.

As a sidenote, would you like to what else sucks? Philadelphia. Not any particular team from Philly as a whole, but the entire city as a whole. New Jersey is widely considered the armpit of America. I think this is unfair because the stink is only a bridge away over in Philly. If you live or are from Philly you should get in your car, turn on your cd player, listen to more Bon Jovi, drive to your nearest gun shop, purchase one, and shoot yourself in the face. Just because you suck. I was fortunate enough to catch a couple of the Nattos-Phillies series where we took 2 of 3 from them. At one ZimZam at-bat they threw at his body and he ducked it, then the very next pitch they threw at his head. Of course the ump came out and warned the pitcher and both benches. All the while some hurting Philly fan behind me was screaming that if Zim "can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen" while interlacing a word that starts with p and kind of sounds like Stussy, the old t-shirt brand. This guy embodies almost anyone I have ever met from Philly. First off it is stupid. At the time the Phillies were one game out of first place before the Nattos knocked them down a few pegs. The Nattos? 26 out. If you want to throw at our one star's head, we will throw at Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard all day, potentially knocking them out, and thus your stupid Phillies from their pennant race in which they will choke anyways. This fan just embodied everyone from Philly; stupid, brash, no concept of the game being played and therefore no concept of how to win a championship, which of course they have not done since before a lot of us were born. (I know I just broadly generalized, so I grant exceptions to my boy Jeff and his brother, and my girl Katie and her man, but I dare everyone else from Philly to prove me wrong.)

The final straw was Chase Utley intentionally injuring my boy Jesus Flowers while sliding into the plate. Baseball etiquette is if you are definately out you don't go in to hurt somone. The play was not even close and Utley deliberately went after a young guy with a bright future's ankle and sure enough hurt him. Jesus Flowers is no slouch so he held on and made the out. It is just a typical classless play, from a typical classless team, in a typically classless city. Seriously if you are from Philly shoot yourself in the face. Can't wait to see the Saints.